I’ve always adored women. Since the earliest years of my childhood I’ve always been surrounded by women. My mother has always been the most influential part of my life and along with her dearest friends, my grandmother, my numerous ‘aunts’, and cousins there’s always been a vast array of female company around me. Because of this, it offered me the ability to learn to communicate with women from an emotional standpoint, which if you know anything about the female gender, is extremely important. Add this to the fact my earliest crushes on girls began by age 5, I’d say I’ve always been drawn to women for obvious reasons.

I don’t know enough of the world before my time simply because all we have to rely on for historical references are books, movies, documentaries, commentary from elders, and stories shared from our families. But its apparent and still somewhat the case today that this has always been a society run by men for men. From politics to industry, it seems decisions that are to affect the greater good for us all have been made by men based on a masculine perspective. Although it seems it wasn’t until recently we began seeing a little more balance between the role of men versus women in numerous aspects of society and family, I can assure you every decision a man makes individually is with a woman in mind in some way or another. Because it is true what they say, behind every great man is a great woman standing by his side in support of him.

Of course though it is refreshing to see the tides turn where women are now playing more influential roles on various levels, that change doesn’t come easy without some friction and misunderstanding. Personally, I believe the media and the entertainment industry’s stronghold for influence on young girls has had a huge part to play in corrupting the idea of what it means to be an ‘independent woman.’ There is a huge difference between being comfortable in one’s own skin and their sexuality and outright exploitation whether it be by another or yourself. And from what I can see in how things have changed in the past decade, we’ve become a society inflicted with narcism and self-exploitation.

Since the dawn of record keeping over the course of history in various societies women have been sexualized. Though man can be too from time to time, I’m sure we can all agree there is a common theme that comes with the sexualization of the female anatomy. As much as I don’t like to admit it, its just the way some of us are wired. It appeals to the lower vibrational, primal nature of us all and much of the time it controls us without us even realizing what is happening. Men will do anything to feed that primal urge that is just as much biochemical as it is psychological, and women yearn for the change to boost their ego and self-worth stemming from that attention. I mean it doesn’t take a social scientist to observe that even starting as toddlers, females love attention. Its just something that drives their nature, and that same need for attention is what causes such competition amongst them, feeding their animosity towards one another. Its why deep down, that behavior ends up leading to the idea that many females quite possibly do seem to ‘all hate each other.’  Unfortunately, I believe its this that is their greatest shortcoming and leads to a woman’s downfall much of the time.

While we can all appreciate how women do have a unique power that influences all of us, there is a great amount of responsibility that comes with it, and more often than not it is abused to feed a lesser, selfish need or desire. Truth be told a lot of women use their influence and sex to manipulate people, and because of it, naturally they’re going to receive a bad rap. The symbol is as iconic as the ‘evil-queen’ syndrome which is glamorized in television and in movies with the ‘hottest’ girl in school who’s influence reigns supreme over social order. And while it may seem fun and empowering to sing these mantra’s we’ve been provided via Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, Ariana Grande, Katy Perry, or Nicki Minaj, from my point of view its doing more harm than good in the minds of those whom believe its giving them a sense of self-worth and independence. I believe that mindset has become detrimental and if you look at the sexual attitude of this young generation of teens, they obviously have no idea how to handle it. While they pretend its a free-willed self-empowered lifestyle they’re showcasing, the truth is shown in their inability to cope with their own emotions, insecurities, and complete disregard for trust and loyalty. As much as it pains me to say these things, its just how I see it. And its steering this generation down a dark, dangerous path which I fear will have a drastic effect on us all.

I remember not too long ago having a discussion with my mother, grandmother and aunt about how hard its been for me to find someone to get into a serious relationship with because I’ve noticed many women today tend to be far too shallow and self-absorbed to really take into consideration the feelings of others and focus not so much on their own 24/7. I was pleasantly surprised when they all agreed with me.  I have an extremely strong sense of empathy so if you’re not being just as considerate of how I feel as I am of how you feel, then its not going to work. And unfortunately, we’ve become a society of ‘Me, me… Me.’ Its all about what others can do for me, how are they making me feel, how are you providing for me? Just read the twitter TL or Instagram feed of the average 18-25 year old and see how narcissistic and attention driven we’ve become. All this behavior is doing little for personal growth and only giving us an instant gratification that has no longevity, and though you may disagree it has nothing to do with self-worth.

Self-worth and confidence isn’t arrogance. It doesn’t need to be paraded around and shown off to every visible eye within viewing range. To truly possess these characteristics comes with a sense of humility that doesn’t require praise from every person willing to offer it. And as a strong, independent woman its important to know the effect you have on others of both genders and sexualities. With technology we’ve been given the opportunity to have a serious effect on one another and change the socialization of our children, but if we don’t use it properly and just allow it to control us while feeding our most egotistical nature then we’re only damaging ourselves and one another. Because I can assure you, the last thing I want is for my 7 year old cousin to prance around mimicking these ‘false idols’ who think promoting promiscuity is individualism or self-worthiness.  I want her to understand its how you touch people’s hearts and minds that is more important than what your physicality does for them.

I think its important with this recent shift in societal behavior we start considering how our actions are affecting one another on a larger scale. Now that we may very well be witnessing the dawn of a new era with a possible female president we should learn how to responsibly conduct ourselves as human beings now that technology has given us a new and empowering sense of communication and influence. So to this new generation of young women who have the ability to touch the minds and hearts of so many with their Tumblr’s, Twitter’s, and Instagram’s, remember its not always the first impression that counts… Its more so the lasting impression you leave on every person you encounter, both online and offline.

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