Ever since I was a child I always thought to myself, one day I’m going to change the world. I don’t know how many children have those feelings or how many think about the world to a degree deep enough to even think it needs changing in the first place; but I know I did. Maybe it started when I realized I wasn’t a fan of the institutionalization of our public school system and their methods of compartmentalization of children’s mind and learning capability. Yes I learned that early on, I’d say first grade. And my attitude in regards to that hasn’t changed a bit. As a matter fact its only increased in my sentiment, that something is very wrong here.
In reading my work you may perceive me to be an idealist. I don’t doubt that to be the case but also keep in mind that I am also very much a realist as well as a cynic in how I view mankind and the atrocities capable by the average, every day person.
I’ve never seen myself as different from my peers, though my teachers, parents, and friends would continuously remind me that I was special in some way. I did come to realize I possessed an above average intelligence only because of the continuous testing I received growing up to gauge where my potential may reside. Of course life has a way of gutting out any dreams and ambitions once tragedy strikes, so all my visions and goals disappeared shortly after my sister’s death and parent’s divorce. I’m not trying to gain any sympathy, I’m just laying ground work here.
As I got older and gained more life experience and an abundance of literal knowledge and personal growth I came to also realize I had a knack for words, speaking, and communicating in a means that was relatable to almost anybody. As I found my voice I developed my talents into art, poetry, then transformed that into lyrics that I would then infuse with melody and rhythm to learn how to make a unique blend of music. Luckily, early on I found a number of passions that steered me down the same path I continue to travel to this day.
Of course as prominent as all that sounds, reality once again has a way of showing its fat, ugly head where it isn’t wanted, and I soon learned that the path less traveled is the most turbulent and difficult one to spend a lifetime following. But I am thankful, that all the turmoil I faced gave me an inner strength and a determined nature that no matter how close to the edge I’ve been pushed, I still am standing here smiling.
Technology has given us so much, I can’t even begin to list all its given me personally. The things I’ve learned, the people I’ve connected with, the tools that have been provided are irreplaceable, however it has also taken something from us. As I spend time observing the various trends that attract people’s attention daily, I can’t help but be reminded of my cynicism and how foolish and gullible the average parson is. And still, somehow my idealistic nature continues to drive me to believing that the world can be changed, and that its not only I who has to do it, but us as a whole.
I’d say maturity is responsible for redefining my ego’s notion that, I alone hold some responsibility to change all of this simply because I have some supernatural sense of empathy, intelligence, and a unique set of talents that can somehow do what others before me have failed to accomplish. Or maybe I’ve just grown too tired of grinding away at a staggering unawareness our society has managed to glorify as if intelligence and independence is something to be belittled.
Amidst all this I continue to learn every day, though experience, understanding, study, and re-evaluation of myself and everything that surrounds this conundrum we call a normal life, or lack thereof. Anytime a problem or setback arises, I now take a backseat to just letting things work themselves out until I can regain the motivation to continue on, not letting disappointment deter me as it once did before.
You see, I don’t see myself as different, I just merely see myself as who I am, and regardless if that is different from how the average person is supposed to see themselves I could really care less. It takes truly understanding one’s own nature and talents to know what they can and can’t achieve from both a subjective and objective point of view. And that being said, again I have no desire to change the world on my own simply because I now realize that is not possible. It takes people, masses in unison to make any social change or even have an impact on any kind upon society. And its for that reason that we have to learn to see things differently, first individually, then as a whole.
Truth is the world always needs to be changed, every single day, because its an imperfect construct we are responsible for. Therefore, its our responsibility to make changes until we get it as right as it can possibly be. Whether its faith or idealism, I promise you its not led by blind ambition, because if it were than I wouldn’t care to change it in the first place. I’d simply seek to change things in my life, to benefit only myself, as I imagine is all most people wish to do. And that’s fine, but if we were to all do it together, then everything would naturally change itself as thats how it usually works.